Chopped Unc @ the Che show
The summer I turned goated.
I looked at my plate, bathed in harsh red light. 3 pierogis, 2 small slices of kielbasa, onions, 2 slices of Polish rye, a pickle chip, sauerkraut, a dollop of sour cream. To my right, two venue workers, the only other guys older than me and the only other people eating food. To my left, a trio of bussin haircuts drinking Liquid Death and talking about Ken Carson.
Last night at Warsaw in Greenpoint, Che played the 11th show of his REST IN BASS tour. The Atlanta rapper is beloved by today’s chronically online generation of underground rap fans, but he turned up the volume for his second album, released this summer, ditching his plugg origins in favor of face-melting rage rap. It’s the kind of dark and loud music that makes teenagers want to jump around and scream. He’s on his rock star shit.
So there I was, post-pierogi aura farming, Zywiec in hand, choking on the intense humidity that had 1/10th of the room shirtless. Most of the shirts that were being used came straight from the merch booth, its line extending out of the back room right into the pit.
Between sets, some strangely depressing ambient music soundtracked the scene: security guards helping kids escape the pit, a steady stream of vape and joint smoke, a shoe flying through the air, a Complex News crew. The vibe was eerie. Then Che went on and the place erupted into a sea of bouncing phone screens.
There comes a time in every unc’s life when he must decide if he’s goated or chopped. As Che ran through his rattling catalog, screaming for the pit to be reopened, a mass of sweaty bodies trying to both participate in and record the chaos, I pondered. When he brought out fellow youth champion xaviersobased to perform “MANNEQUIN,” I think I figured out where I stood.
“I want the crowd to feel like they’re at a ritual and they’re just here to praise me [...] It’s like a savior of music thing,” Che told The Fader a couple months ago. “I want people to hear my music and feel safe, like there’s no struggles at all, nothing to worry about at all in the world.”
The world has plenty to worry about, but last night was definitely a ritual for the kids. Maybe Che can save us.
What’s going on?
If you’ve been sleeping on Stewart’s milk it’s time to wake tf up. Stewart’s Shops, the Upstate convenience icon that always makes me think about Stuart from MadTV, just won “Best Milk in New York State” for the fourth year in a row. FOURTH. This is dynasty shit. Not even Tom Brady’s Patriots could do four in a row. You might be thinking, That’s impressive but there’s no way they could maintain this standard of excellence for other milk categories. Wrong. They took first for “Best Chocolate Milk” and “Best Flavored Milk” too. Next time I head to the Catskills, the first thing I’m doing is hitting Stewart’s for 3 quarts of award-winning milk. Watch this space.
LA’s most hype coffee shop opened in Brooklyn. It was only a matter of time.
If your waiter recommends more than two items, ignore everything they said. I loved these rules for ordering from Austin Tedesco and Olivia Weiss. I disagree about skipping fries because I have never regretted ordering fries in my life, but not modifying and loading up on dessert are codes everyone needs in life.
Nicolaia Rips has the best Health Gossip (so far). Routine content at its best.
After taking all these liquids, with all their purposes and textures, I feel horrible, nauseous, and frightened. And wide awake, ready to take on the day. Then I do skincare (I love Sofie Pavitt), listen to The Daily and bike to work. At night I do more skincare, blah blah blah, maybe read a little bit of whatever book is on my bedside table, and end my day with thirty minutes of ASMR (WHAT!!).
I can’t buy anymore Asics this year, but this pair with 18East is great.
Carbone and Superiority Burger are two of the most essential restaurants of the past 20 years. Eater put out their all-time list of the 38 most influential restaurants in the US, including Via Carota, Franklin BBQ, Gjelina and more.
New Tim Robinson screaming content drops next month.
Goodbye:
